22 Nov Life Journal

God is good! He is also good for today. This noon we came to church to celebrate sister Wailing's farewell together. I haven't seen her for about several months now. She still looks quite vigorous. During the lunch, she sat down a while to catch up with me, and I confided some situations I face now to her. Today we had a very substantial lunch together, and most of the dishes they brought were Malaysian style which is with lots of curry. Meanwhile, I saw many old church friends who I haven't seen for several months or even several years. It's so amazed that I saw a familiar sister Maggie who originally came from HangZhou today. She went to the Christmas Eve celebration party exactly 4 years ago where I saw her first time there. Today I judged from her Chinese accent and a very vague visual memory to identify she is the same person whom I met 4 years ago! Yes, she is! And she also said I lost lots of weight during the years. Of course she didn't know my medication condition at all...

Sister Wailing finally is going back to Singapore now, which is arranged both by Student Life and God, though she herself doesn’t really feel like leaving the country so early. But just as pastor Moses said: "An end of this stage is a beginning for another stage." A-men! God have mercy! Bless and anoint her in her new stage of life!

In the afternoon I played basketball with Joe, Mike and Jason. After playing, Joe ate a bit with me at home. A detail impressed me where after he finished eating, he consciously went to wash the dishes. This feature, the inside beauty of a man, I do believe it is from God. To gain this kind of feature, we must keep spending time with God everyday and obey his commandments so we can fruit the fruits from the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Causes always go before the effects. This scripture tells me pride is the cause of destruction, and a haughty spirit leads to a fall. A big lesson I learnt from this year is how pride and a haughty spirit can destroy a man and lead him to a fall. For the sake of pride, I failed so many tests and fell so much! Jesus, now I confess all the sins I have committed and humble myself in the sight of you! From now and forever! A-men.

Ricky: Things you must be conscious!

Time goes so fast! It's Novemember now. The aim of this journal is to remind myself a few things I must be conscious.

Bruce replied in his email as this: he still uses pen and paper to write diary, because that makes him easily read it at any time and any place. After all, under different circumstances and with differernt attitudes, it is hard to exactly recall every single previous prefound feelings. So you should also always read what you have written, to see whether you have got improved.

So today I write.

Ricky, these are the things you must be aware of, must be conscious!

What are you doing with yourself now?
What are you going to do today?
When are you going to finish the things listed in you daily plan?
How are you going to make those?
Are you wasting your time as usual?

Also, are you day dreaming again?
Please, please! Put yourself into present tense.
Say: I am not sleeping now. I am awake. I am doing this day's job. Ricky, please never imagine going back to the past and try to change something out there, which is a bul-shit waste of time!

If you have some fantasies while you are working, tell youself you are still at work, so say that I would rather to enjoy the present than to live in a world of fantasy!