Rather than briefly recording everything down

Rather than briefly recording everything down, I want to use the point which has been addressed by Terry the toastmaster mentor terry to lead today’s journal. That point was feeling good makes you perform better!

Yes, I feel good because I have studied for 5 hours today. Yes, I feel good as I finished half of a chapter’s reading. These good feelings will make me perform better tomorrow, and the better performance I will make on tomorrow will give me good feelings, which improve the performance again on the next day, and so on!

Other than these, I believe that Holy Spirit has been moving me. Thanks Jesus!

What have I done on yesterday?

It is the noon of 13rd of August now. Yesterday morning I woke up at 8 something. I attended the morning’s econometrics class but didn’t understand a thing. Thanks God I had a good sleep and I attended afternoon’s tutorial. Thanks God I purchased the ink cartridge at such a low price. Thanks God I could pass the letter to Laoyang in the night.

The day I didn’t do much work on study, but I feel alright with myself, thanks God!

2009.8.11 Tuesday

I woke up at 8. I drove to Deakin to return the portfolio book after having breakfast. And then I went to see Doctor Laura, thanks God that we had a good communication today and my dose was reduced to 7.5 milligrams a day. I spent a bit while on fixing my bag, but I couldn’t fix it. So I went to the music shop and thanks God that the bag has been fixed in less than half of a minute time. I picked up the train to Footscray and return 2 items which were meant to drop back 3 weeks ago. So I have been charged 10 dollars for the fine. After paying the fine, I went to my favourite restaurant in Melbourne and enjoyed a large dish of Vietnamese food, which comprises sausages, fried rice, prawns, bitter melons, bean sprout with special Vietnamese sauce that tastes sour and sweet.

I didn’t fall to asleep on the bed in the afternoon. I drove to Deakin and made an appointment with DRC staff for Friday. I enjoyed this afternoon’s toastmaster club very much, and I am so keen to get my very first opportunity in life to learn the business in the real world (rather than business in the textbooks)!

Thanks God I managed my evening well on today. I finished dinner at home and I had studied for 2 hours. Thanks God that today I learnt a brilliant philosophy from Terry the toastmaster mentor. He said:”feeling good makes you perform better”. So let us give a good mark to ourselves on every night before bed!

Push myself to journal

9th August, 2009 Sunday Sunny in Melbourne

Today I would like to thank God for lots of things. In the morning I woke up and brought Joe to church, and we came on time, so thanks God. During the service I fully surrendered myself to God, and I worshipped Jesus with all my heart. It is so blessed to meet with Christian fellows, even if we were just with a very brief grating and catch-up. Thanks God that my faith to him is back!

Thanks God I went back home and finished my lunch efficiently (had some fast foods). Thanks God I met with very hard working group mates when we are having a group presentation on tomorrow. Thanks God that when they were smoking I didn’t follow them again. Thanks God that I met with a nice chick from my hometown Hunan in the lab and I could have the opportunity to help her with English. Thanks God I introduced toastmaster club to her. All in all, today is a gracious day with full of joy and thanksgiving!

Take it seriously! Why do you live?

Long time no refresh my blog!

Today I heard a very good sermon from Pastor Chee, it’s very useful to me as it makes me re-think the purpose of my life, and I have take this very seriously again. This was the first thing I used to think of when I just accepted Jesus, but it is still important today after believing in him for so many years.

Chee quoted a very familiar scripture in Matthew where Jesus firstly called up Simon Peter and said “follow me, I will make you fishers of men!” Chee shared his personal testimony that in order to be able to full-timely serve God as a pastor he gave up his “rich” dentistry work which makes him 6-digital number money in 40 hours. Indeed, the dentistry job can provide him with such a big “freedom”, which means he can pay up all his house loans in a few years and use the money to travel to wherever he wants to go. But there is something more valuable which is to be fishers of men so he made this choice to obey God.

I so appreciate today’s sermon. It is just so timely! To be honest, at this moment, I am experiencing the vanities of life than ever before. From time to time, I have just been so aimless and feel everything so boring and meaningless. In uni, I don’t feel like talking to anyone. But now I realise I was wrong. Because God wants to use me to talk to more people and let them know Jesus.

I got an opportunity to talk to Chee personally. To be surprised, he is the first generation Christian in his family as well. So he exactly has the same contradiction to his parents as mine. But we have to stand firmly. And Chee sometimes also doesn’t feel like doing quiet time as me, he told me the time when I attempted compromise is actually the time Satan wanted to break me, so in that period I must read God’s word more to protect myself.

God, give all glory to you. A-men!

Finally it was just a dream...sigh

Just received my IELTS result this time, I still couldn't get 4 sevens, although with a impressive average(7.5). Reading mark quite encourages me(7.5), but the examiner just gave me 6.5 on both writing and speaking.

This is a full stop for this half year. I wished I passed this test. The wish was very strong, and the preparation was much more demanding than any previous times, but in the end, it still came to no avail. But I believe that God has a purpose behind all of these, as this fact draws me to face the reality. The result warns me that my English needs improvement. Therefore, I accept this mark peacefully and remind myself to study hard this year. Try to find a office work if I can at the same time.

I love my canditate number!

Today I sat in the IELTS test, I did not bad.

I believe that God arranges everything behind all things.

My canditate number is 025414, and 0,1,2,5are my luckiest numbers. They are highly related to my salvation and baptism, my salvation date was on 25th of the 10th, and I was baptised on 21st of May.

I just thought of 4, what's that? yeah, got it! 4 sevens this time! 2 fours, rest assured, no drama.

This morning when I firstly sat in the exam, I was a bit pissed off because my desk and chair are pretty unstable, both of them lacked of one foot. But now I know, God did this on purpose. He wanted to build up my patience.

Persevere with the prayer and hard work for my oral part. In God's name, AMEN!

Why I cannot?

Today I prepared for the oral part of the IELTS test. When I tried to ask questions to myself and use English to answer it, I just felt I had nothing to say.

In the previous tests I always felt it was not too bad although sometimes I might made some mistakes, I had never been suspicious of my fluency. But when I did the simulation with my housemate several weeks ago, when I did it on today, I felt so stressed.

I just wonder that I have come to Australia for so long, how come I still cannot speak very good English. Sometimes I felt like so much living as an out-going and extroverted English speaking person.

Sigh...

God, I feel so lack of confidence these days, my IELTS test, the master course I am gonna take, driving test, job huntings, future girlfriends... When I read psalms, I was so touched by King David's cry--my God, why have you forsaken me, why didn't you answer my call!

2 or 3 years ago

2 or 3 years ago, when I was just 20,21, when I was just in year 2

I thought life was just so easy, and in that year life was full of fantasies

I used to dream I could be proficient at German

but now I have found even my English is not good enough

I used to dream I could be getting rich easily and doing charities by myself

but now I have found that it is even hard to feed myself

I used to think I was mature enough and able to handle big things in life

but now I even feel it is hard to get over the current situation

I used to, I used to dream like a 16-year-old boy 3 years ago

However, when I received my poor academic results, when I had to do hard labour work very reluctantly just to sustain myself

I gradually realised--life is not for fun.

The facts--push me to face the REALITY.

This is all I have got--EXPERIENCE!

And I will face the REALITY, jump into this CRUCIBLE. This is life.

To everyone who is struggling with exams

Today I just felt so down. I realised my family's hard situation. To me, it is also very embarassing. Most probably I will go to take the master course in Deakin. And I felt frustrated again when preparing IELTS test.
During that time I was just so wanting to drive to Rob's place to confide all of these to him! But I couldn't make that--obviously we were in different countries. So I summit this to God.I called and he answered. Below are what the Holy Spirit told me.
Ricky, don't forget, Jesus is higher than all the governors in this world. His authority is bigger than that of the examiners. Ricky, your part is very little when comparing with that of God! You should be confident of yourself. And at any time, please remember you have been chosen by God. You are a God's child. Whatever the exam result is, there are reasons behind that. God arranged you to study in Deakin next year. This arrangement has a purpose. Be joyful and be happy, because he is preparing and making everything good for you in his schedule.
A-men!