Hello everyone, I am still alive!

It really has been quite a while since I posted my last passage on this blog. I need to state the purpose of posting the new post. Many people don't have a clear purpose to update their blogs. Bloggers fall into 2 groups. The first group of people virtually is not writing blog but their "loneliness", but the second group of bloggers really devotes their time to share their lives with friends in front of the public, I mean, through the Internet. The first group of people are always uni students who are perplexed about their study or future, adolescent school students or some young working adults who are doing their reluctant jobs. The second group can be people who have very substantial and wonderful lives; maybe they travel a lot and good with photographing. They can also be Christians who really want to share their spiritual experiences. Anyway, that's for them, and I am myself. For me, sometimes I also published my "loneliness", but gradually and gradually, I felt that I needed to build blogging constructive.

"找自我"is a Chinese term that is hard to be interpreted in English. I discuss this with Robert before. He quoted Taylor's lyric to explain this which was "be the one you are supposed to be". In regards to myself, it means that I am supposed to and I must "entirely embrace my adulthood". This raises an issue of "happiness". At some stage, doing a decent, stable-income providing and promising job doesn't mean that we have already had the true "happiness" in life, and actually a good job or a business that seems to be ran well is not equal to "happiness". Some Christians go to another extreme that they commit much more to church ministry as well as other religious stuff than to their weekday's business. However, for myself, I am not either of them, and I am sure that I am in the middle.

In this month lots of things happened in life are really thankful, permanent residency has been granted, and I graduated as a Master student with a Distinction level of achievements. I used to have very bad mood and mindset that I am always so disappointed at myself, but that's not good, so I need more self confidence, and I need affirmation. Quite frankly, current situation in which I am is tough. My mum frankly told me that they are not supporting me financially anymore and I must be on my own. It's not that easy to get a job in such a society and I have to do labour work again to sustain myself. However, at the same time, I believe this is the barrier that I must get it over, and these difficulties are those I must tackle with. Surely that I am not a kid anymore, I must grow up. That is, to step out of my comfort zone and transmit to the next stage of life. Some young people always recall their happiness in their childhood, and I used to do that as well. The truth is many people golden days in their childhood are based on their parents' sacrifice. I can't be too selfish anymore. Rather than receiving benefits from people, I need to think what I can do for myself and what I can offer to the others.

Hence, in this situation, what I can do is just do what I can do, and do I can do as my best. Be myself, but never be the one I used to be. Believe in myself, and believe in God.